Ask Eliza for Weight Loss Help

Sibling Rivalry, advice for parents and teens.

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Dear Eliza,
My sister is stick thin. She plays every sport and does everything perfectly. I am not like her. I'm overweight, not coordinated at all and feel like I can't do anything as well as she does. I get really sad when I think about this and I'm really jealous of her. What do I do about this?
Stacey Kessler



Hi Stacey,
This is a tough situation, but rest assured you are not alone in these feelings. Siblings often rival against one another for a million different reasons. This one is difficult because you are actually comparing yourself physically to someone who may be biologically very different from you. Even though you are from the same parents, your biological make-up can look very different. This may mean that your appearance is very different as well, along with your ability to gain weight. Your sister may not be biologically predispositioned to weight gain the way you are. This does NOT mean, however, that it is not possible for you to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight. It just means you have to know you are not dealing with apples to apples here. The two of you are different, period.

That being said, the real struggle here is how you can learn to accept yourself and your differences and stop comparing yourself to your sister. There will always be things she may be better at than you, and there are most likely things you will always be better at than she. You may just be to caught up in your comparison to notice your own strengths. We need all types of different strengths in this world, and you need to focus on the amazing gifts YOU bring to the table, and take the focus off of your sister.

There are many things you can start doing if you want to reach or maintain a healthy weight, but as you go on that journey, don't forget the importance of self-acceptance! No matter what size you are, you will not be happy unless you can really learn to accept and love yourself for your own uniqueness!